Super Problems
by KidFlash13
Summary: Problematic issues that superheroes and regular people share. Unconnected one-shots.
1. Souperboy

Problem #1: Speedster short-term memory

The team was on a hiatus while most of their members had end of year testing to prepare for. Aqualad swam laps in the Cave's pool, Artemis was unknowingly studying with Robin in Gotham, and M'Gann convinced Conner to help her cook lunch. Of course this left a certain hyperactive speedster on his own, so as soon as he got the chance, he left Central City to see if anything interesting was going on in the Cave. Wally didn't expect to see Superboy in a chef's hat and apron, nor did he expect to see M'Gann giggling while they worked away preparing Superboy's favorite meal; tomato soup. Feeling a bit irritated, he sped to M'Gann's side, "Ooh, what'cha cooking? Smells good. *"

"Oh-hi Wally we were just makin-"

"-CanIhelp? Let'saddabitofthis" Wally ran around dropping random ingredients to the concoction.

"You added tarragon" Superboy clenched his fists. "I HATE TARRAGON! He punched the side of the post and splashed tomato soup onto the tile, his only shirt, and Wally. His features twitched and he ran away growling, hoping to get the smell of the spice off of himself. Miss Martian flew after him to calm him down.

KF lapped a bit off of his hand mumbling, "Well, it's not that bad." After standing around for a while (30 seconds is a long time) he thought, 'Maybe I should pick this up…Nah, I'll let Aqualad do it.' Wally started to dash away, but slipped on the forgotten meal and knocked himself out on the tile.

After a boring tutoring session with that troll, Dick Grayson, Artemis was more than happy to see the Cave was empty. She stepped into the kitchen to see if there was anything good to eat and found KF passed out facedown in a pool of red liquid.

"WALLY!" Artemis cried. His form reacted slightly as she ran to his side.

"Shut up harpy, tying to sleep" KF whispered, rolling in the soup.

The slap that Artemis issued to the back of Wally's head was heard without the use of super-hearing, and from his view from the crack of the hallway closet, Superboy smirked. In the center of the Batcave, watching from hidden cameras, Bruce smiled as his newest pupil learned the joys of vengeance. **

*Wally cannot form coherent sentences around food.

** This is before Superman steps in.

Hello all! This is a new unconnected one-shot series. I'll try to update regularly. Also, if anyone has any prompt suggestions, be sure to post or message me. This fanfic was inspired by: QueerLittleFish's "Maybe I should…" prompt, and InnerMindTheater's YJ parodies on Youtube. I suggest you people go check them out.


	2. Secret Identities

Problem #2: Civilian Clothing

After a boring morning of deskwork at the Daily Planet, Clark Kent decided he needed caffeine. Stretching his triceps of steel, he yawned and went to the break room for some coffee. Clark paid no attention to the strange looks and smirks that he received and greeted everyone he saw normally.

The next day, on his way to an emergency meeting with Bruce Wayne, he wondered why he heard snickers resounding around him. Once he reached their usual diner and ordered apple pie up front, Clark was off to the corner booth.

"What did I tell you about laying low?" Bruce seethed.

"… Good morning to you too", Superman looked very confused. Batman slipped him a Daily Planet paper that read, '#1 Superfan in Metropolis', with a large cover photo of Kent's symbol poking out from his civilian attire. His jaw dropped in horror.

"You could have revealed the entire 'company'. Make sure this never happens again." Kent nodded vaguely as he registered the Bat's words. "Be sure to add some fanboy squeals to the ambiance next time the Big Blue Boy Scout flies by, just in case you have any followers."

"But-"

"No."

"Bu-"

* Batglare *

Conner never wanted to hear that awful sound again. Ever. He added some earmuffs to M'Gann's shopping list for the next time he visited Metropolis.

**I hope everyone enjoys this story! :) I've got the next three chapters outlined, but absolutely no time to type anything up, so the next update will probably have to wait until next weekend or around then. I haven't gotten any yet, but I'll accept a few prompts if anybody wants a chapter for themselves. Thank you. -KF13**


	3. Target of Love

Problem #3: Relationships

Artemis was never one to rush into things. Being the daughter and sister of master criminals taught her to analyze every situation, and attack it from its blind side. This way of thinking didn't come to mind with her loved ones, so it was clear she needed a new approach for pressing situations. Begrudgingly, Artemis went to ask M'Gann for help.

A few girlish squeals (M'Gann) and a firm hug (Artemis) later; the girls were relaxed into the Cave's couch, recounting stories of years past. Finally, Artemis remembered her purpose of seeking M'Gann for a chat.

* * *

Wally West is fast in almost every aspect. Sure, he can run across the country in less than four hours, and solve scientific equations in one-tenth the average human time, but he's kind of slow when it comes to what comes out of his mouth. Due to his advanced speed, he tends to only speak about what random thoughts flit across his mind- nothing too serious. He never states the obvious, because he doesn't want to waste his time and breath.

It had been seven years since that New Years Day on the Watchtower, and Artemis and Wally were happily together and nearing the end of their college years. Artemis thought there was something greater between them besides first love, but wondered how she should approach the suggestion of a relationship change.

Less than three days after her talk with M'Gann, Artemis decided to take action.

"Well guys, I used to be single, but then I took an arrow to the knee!" Wally proudly declared at their engagement announcement.

"Aren't you glad that you didn't listen to M'Gann?" Babs asked Artemis.

" I don't know… I have the feeling that talking about my feelings with him would have been easier. He'll drag out this story at every opportunity." She sighed in response, with a small smirk of satisfaction gracing her face.

**Sorry for the late update, I hope to get the other chapter outlines finalized and uploaded sometime soon. So, did you guys hear that the hiatus ends on the 29****th****? XD Thank you everyone that read and followed this series.-KF13**


	4. A Crabby Time

Problem #4: Your friends think you have endless patience

The Cave had been filled with the sound of combat practice all morning, despite it being Saturday. The team was more than a bit annoyed with the lack of missions, and they took out their anger on each other.

"I hate everything!" Superboy cried as he lifted Aqualad and threw him to the floor of the training room face-first. The Atlantean took a second to compose himself, and pushed himself back onto his feet. Looking back at Superboy with slightly narrowed eyes, he went to the Cave's pool for a few cool-down laps.

Upon reaching the water, Aqualad shed the unnecessary bulk of his water-bearers and stepped into the pool. Allowing the steady waves he generated to uncoil his nerves, Aqualad swam at a leisurely pace for about forty-five minutes. As his stomach growled like a dogfish, he realized that lunch was probably ready, and headed off to the kitchen after picking up his water-bearers.

When the Atlantean arrived at the kitchen, he was unsurprised to see Superboy on the couch, watching static in the living room, M'Gann burning who-knows-what as she tried to prepare an Earth meal, and Wally and Artemis squabbling about nothing at all. He assumed Robin was hidden in the rafters, recording the events for future enjoyment. Sighing wearily, he put his hand on his head and dragged it down his face, surprised to see Superboy staring at him.

"What is your question Superboy?" The Atlantean asked.

The Clone continued to stare, but curiously wondered out loud, "why did you change your water-bearers?"

Aqualad looked to his side, craning his neck, before he unsheathed one of the bearers. He frowned at the sight of the Sharpie mustache, monocle, and top hat. Unsheathing the other bearer, he found them to be twins. Crazed laughter echoed across the Cave as Robin swooped down to join the team.

"Rob," Wally whined, "you said that we would do that together!"

"You were too busy arguing, Kid Mouth." The acrobat smiled at Wally and turned to face Aqualad. "Why are you so crabby? They were practically begging me to make them fancy eels."

"No, Robin, they were not. Even if they were, you would not hear them." The Atlantean glared and turned to walk to his room.

"They talk?!" KF and Robin exclaimed.

M'Gann shrieked as her latest attempt at smoothies exploded and coated their leader on his way out. Pivoting on his foot, he gave his team the best bat glare a non-bat family member can give and started shouting at them in Atlantean.

Any training the team had scheduled for the afternoon was called off, and they mostly went their separate ways. M'Gann wound up crying, having translated Aqualad's words into Martian, and Superboy started flipping random tables and chairs because of her tears.

Artemis gained a new respect for her team leader, and he made it onto her list of people to avoid bothering, right under Paula Crock and Batman.

Robin and Kid Flash looked at the spot their friend had stood yelling, and chuckled at their new memory.

"He hasn't been that angry since the time Roy shaved half of Aquaman's mustache!" The two laughed harder at the memory of Roy trapped in fishing net, being dragged off for any punishment Aqualad deemed worthy.

In Atlantis, Aquaman smiled inwardly as his protégé recounted his day in frustration, and was pleased that Kaldur had let his anger go. Patting the boy on his head, King Orin continued to listen as Kaldur struggled with consciousness, and wound up carrying him to his bedchambers. Looking back at the boy from the doorway, Orin remembered the day he met young Kaldur. His protégé was growing up now, and woe unto all that stood in his path.

** -KF13**


	5. Vociferous Schooldays

Super Problem #5: When you have superhearing and no one hears an annoying noise.

Conner Kent and Megan Morse were taking an exam one Wednesday afternoon in their World History class. At least, Megan was… Conner was grumbling to himself yet again, and couldn't concentrate on ancient Rhelasian ancestors.

"Mr. Kent can you keep it down?" Mr. Carr asked.

"Sorry. It's just, that light in the back is making noise _again_ and I can't focus." The clone apologized.

Half of the class looked at Conner like he was crazy, and the other half, used to the mid-testing conversations, continued with their work. Even Mr. Carr had a doubtful expression plastered on his face, that is, until Megan chimed in.

"Actually, I hear it too. It's kind of annoying, but do you think you could turn off the backlights so that we don't have to lose anymore test time?" She wore a fake look of irritation and apology.

After Megan heard the noise, suddenly everyone else could. The backlights were turned off and 'everyone' regained their peaceful atmosphere.

"Thanks, I guess." Conner grunted to Megan, as they walked to their next class.

Stars shone in the girl's eyes, until they reached their chemistry class, and Conner groaned at the thought of all the broken glasswork that would come out of their lab work. Today was going to be a dis-aster, heavy on the dis-.

**-KF13**


End file.
